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A Wedding without a Loved One

February 1, 2018

                This past December I heard a sermon about the pain that Christmas brings when a loved one has passed away.  This got me thinking about how hard a wedding can be when a beloved family member is missing.  This time that should be so special is filled with the sting of loss, like a wound that has reopened. 


                The pastor spoke about how we have three options when faced with this situation.


  1. Ignore it, and pretend like nothing is missing

  2. Refuse to celebrate at all, because it’s too painful

  3. Or, acknowledge the imperfection and choose to celebrate anyway  


                Option number three is what I hope all of you dealing with this painful situation choose!  Acknowledge that someone special is gone, but choose to celebrate anyway.


                This can be done in many ways.  For example, lots of people light candles during the ceremony to represent loved ones who have passed away.  Brides also like to incorporate small touches in their gowns or bouquets to remember.  But, this past year I saw my favorite example by far!


                It was at the wedding of a dear friend whose bride’s father had passed away.  Instead of skipping the traditional father daughter dance they chose to invite ALL the fathers and daughters to the dance floor; as a way of celebrating that special relationship. 


                               Photo Credit: Shillawna Ruffner Photography


                The dance floor filled with fathers and daughters of all ages!  From grown adults with their grandparent aged fathers, all the way down to a brand-new father with his sweet baby girl.  They all swayed on the dance floor cherishing that beautiful relationship.  Now, I’m not really a crier, but this had even me sucking back a couple rouge tears.     


                               Photo Credit: Shillawna Ruffner Photography


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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.      -1 Corinthians 13:4-8

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